Open Relationships vs. Don't Ask Don't Tell (single, family, child support)
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It has nothing to do with being ashamed or grossed out, I just find lengthy conversations on one's sex life to be boring and narcissistic. I feel the same way when people discuss their dreams. (By dreams I am referring to what runs through ones mind as s/he sleeps.)
I am not sure why you assume that they are lengthy.
And what makes you believe them? People lie about sex more than any other topic on earth, inflating their numbers, experience or the quality of their partners. In my experience, the bore anyone brags about their sex life, the more non-existent it usually is.
If I believed everything I heard in regards to open relationships, I would not have started this thread.
If I believed everything I heard in regards to open relationships, I would not have started this thread.
So you are going to intentionally solicit information from proponents of open relationships for the sole purpose of not believing it with preconceived ideas of what is real? How does that make sense?
I don't think just because someone might not "want" something in a partner, it means the partner is obligated to tell them about it. That's what my virgin at 21/23 analogy was meant to illustrate.
And if we're going to be "fair" to all parties, we should address the elephant in the room--someone who says that up front, at least in our society, will find their dating/romantic life largely ruined.
Thankfully there are those who do not let society dictate to them how they should act. If so, interracial marriage would still not be done! Openly gay people would not exist! Thank goodness for these people. Open and poly people's romantic life is hardly ruined! Quite the opposite.
So you are going to intentionally solicit information from proponents of open relationships for the sole purpose of not believing it with preconceived ideas of what is real? How does that make sense?
Huh? I am looking for a variety of opinions, rather than simply believing everything I have heard from the two people I know who are in an open relationship. No need to flip out on me here...jeez... must be a poly person, standard freak out response when you think your lifestyle is being threatened.
My view - only way an open relationship can function with some sense and to potentially have eliminate as much complications as possible is if you have two spouses who are:
1. best friends, very close to each other
2. have no sexual interest in each other
3. have interest in other party (or parties) OUTSIDE of marriage
4. those other parties are indeed of the opposite gender of their spouse
5. they don't plan on settling with any of those parties
*Ofcouorse, having biological children together will further make a bond of friendship much more permanent through a mutual interest in emotional and biological connection towards the children from both parents.
All of those criteria need to be included.
Thus it would require two heterosexual spouses of same gender who are really great friends and very close to each other. This is quite tricky with the assumption that both parents need to have mutual interest that bonds them permanently, which are their mutual biological children... did you recall that they should be heterosexual married couple being in a "homosexual" union!? You got a conflict right there as well, didn't you.
Their open marriage should be solely to fulfill their need for sex and connecting with someone else outside of marriage on that basis, be it a committed relationship with someone else outside of their marriage or a complete promiscuous behavior. Most important thing is that they shouldn't be planning to leave their spouse or their family unit and pursue their sexual relationship in case of any conflict, which is a complicated part on its own, thus only way to deal with it would indeed be a dose of promiscuity outside of marriage, having one partner today, another within the next month, or having multiple partners whenever you want, focusing mainly on lust.
I don't think just because someone might not "want" something in a partner, it means the partner is obligated to tell them about it. That's what my virgin at 21/23 analogy was meant to illustrate.
And if we're going to be "fair" to all parties, we should address the elephant in the room--someone who says that up front, at least in our society, will find their dating/romantic life largely ruined. It seems more unfair to ask someone to do that to themselves than it is to a prospective partner to not be told about it.
The 21/23 analogy doesn't really hold. One thing occurred in the past and can't be changed. You are talking about withholding information about your future behavior with other individuals while in a relationship.
About the elephant in the room...so that is your justification? Obviously there are some who have relationships with more than one person at a time, but still manage to do so without purposefully concealing their preferences.
The 21/23 analogy doesn't really hold. One thing occurred in the past and can't be changed. You are talking about withholding information about your future behavior with other individuals while in a relationship.
About the elephant in the room...so that is your justification? Obviously there are some who have relationships with more than one person at a time, but still manage to do so without purposefully concealing their preferences.
Why is it someone's business whether you ever have sex with anyone else anyway?
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