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OP really ask yourself what your reason for objecting to this 10 pound gain is. Is it health? A 10 pound gain is hardly unhealthy. Remember, you said yourself the gain came after she started working out with you. It can probably be attributed to that. Or maybe you are worried it is the start of a trend? But at her age some weight gain may be normal. If she is eating right and working out, she is still doing right by her health, and if she continues to gain in this circumstance it is likely a natural change taking place in her body. So you really shouldn't be concerned there, either. That leaves your own preference. Be honest with yourself. Are you concerned about her weight gain because YOU don't like it? If so do the decent thing and tactfully explain your concern. Be preparedfor her to pack her bags and move out. But being honest about it will save her a lot of heartache in the long run and you owe her that much.
Figured I would start a thread here since I spend enough time here posting.
My gf is 19. We've been together a year and a half. Really nice girl and treats me great.
8 months ago she started working out with me. She's a pretty small girl. She's 5' and was 110 when we started dating. She is now up to 120. That's almost a 10% weight gain. I'm 215 lbs. If I gained 10% (20 lbs) that seems like a lot, to put it in perspective.
Really, if she got back down to 110 she woukd be perfect. When she picks up some cardio it seems to make a difference. However, she only does it when I ask her "are you going to run today?" We live together since I travel for work so she has more than enough time for that or adjusting her diet a little.
I know this is obviously very superficial but I work out a LOT and have for many many years and I'm in amazing shape to the point strangers even make comments on a very regular basis.
I love her to death and how she treats me, but also I just really need that physical attraction to be there as well. Thats not going to change so I'd welcome suggestions addressing the topic, not my personal views.
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Wow, 10 pounds and she has suddenly gone from perfect to defective. I'm surprised you can stand to be in the same room with her let alone actually look at her.
You should probably start picking fights with her over stupid stuff and being a general a-s-s-hole so she breaks up with you instead, because it's obvious to me that you're tired of her and want this to end, and it's unfair to tell her it's because she got fat due to gaining only 10lbs.
Also, if you bore this easily don't move in with girls so quickly. Live and learn.
The big problem I see is, rarely can a woman maintain her 19-year-old weight her WHOLE LIFE.
So if you have a problem with 10 pounds now, you're done. Likely as she ages, gets pregnant, menopause, etc, there will be more weight gain. Even if she is taking care of herself, etc, she could *gasp* tip the scales at 130lbs one day! There is no way she's going to stay at 110 the rest of her life, I can tell you that now.
120 is not large - I'm sorry you seem a bit vain. Like, it is important that you have a very skinny, slim girl and now you are unhappy that's she's put on 10lbs, as if you can no longer take pride that your GF is way tiny and now she's slightly larger, you can't take pride in that number anymore. Deny it all you want, but there's some truth to that.
2nd, a lot of women can fluctate 5lbs due to that time of the month, water retention, a big meal, etc. Expecting a woman to stick to that EXACT number at ALL TIMES of her life is so damn unrealistic. If this is what you're expectations are for the relationship, this poor girl is doomed. You should probably cut her loose and find someone that is more like 95 pounds, so when she fluctuates, gains due to pregnancy, periods, and menopause, she won't go over 115 or so and you can accept her.
And ya know, if this is how it is and you can't be with a woman over 110 and if she gains a pound you can't handle it, then so be it. At least admit it. It's not against the law. Just find a woman who, like others say, is a gym rat, maybe a disorder, and who will be determined at all times to stay within a range that you find acceptable.
Answer to the OP: You state it once, "if you don't lose weight I am going to leave you" and you walk away. Then you wait to see if any effort is made. No effort? You leave. Effort, but no weight loss: you become involved in an encouraging way. Effort + weight loss: you give her everything you have (houses, vacations, love...) and continue to be encouraging.
Yeah, my gf is pretty chunky too. I def don't say anything though, she wouldn't take it well. But she does sort of eat like a pig and doesn't get much cardio. And it's kind of a turn off so eventually I'll have to say something.
Yeah, my gf is pretty chunky too. I def don't say anything though, she wouldn't take it well. But she does sort of eat like a pig and doesn't get much cardio. And it's kind of a turn off so eventually I'll have to say something.
Why don't you try some variation of, "Stop eating like a pig and do more cardio!" Then report back to us on how the conversation went!
Yeah. Some muscle but also some fat. Ive gained about 40 lbs in the last 3 years. Mostly muscle.
Yeah that's what ive been trying to do. She's very receptive. It doesnt help that our goals are entirely different. I eat about 5000 calories of EVERYTHING and dont gain weight, so all the food and dinners and my diet certainly doesnt help her. I'm sure if I cleaned up my diet it'd help her too but I'm trying to build more muscle. Opposite goals.
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It sounds like her weight gain is primarily your fault. If you are eating together and eating the same things which are causing you weight gain, they are doing the same thing to her!
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