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Old 06-10-2014, 12:01 AM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,985,638 times
Reputation: 3019

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marv101 View Post
ShinyHappyLucy----If I could rep you a thousand times I'd enthusiastically do so; brilliantly and flawlessly stated.

Nicely done!
Thank you!
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Old 06-10-2014, 12:13 AM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,345,172 times
Reputation: 1578
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy View Post
If how I dress determines whether my husband stays or goes, maybe he's not someone I want in my life. What does that say about the type of man he is if remaining in a marriage is based on his wife's clothing choices?

There are women who dress frumpy for religious reasons, and this is what their husbands like so in actuality someone ever DID say "dress frumpy" even if they didn't use those words. What if one day the wife wakes up and decides it's a bit much for her? Maybe she really loves her husband and was totally okay with dressing this way for religious reasons at one point, but what if she changes her mind? Does she still dress this way to keep her husband around?

I dress to please myself and no one else. I in no way dress in skimpy clothing, but I'd never let someone tell me how I should and shouldn't dress. If I like it, I'm wearing it.
I meant in keeping his interest. I'm sorry but a lot of husbands aren't going to be as interested in their wives if they met their wive as glamorous fashionistas and they morphed into Lorraine from MadTV. I know that doesn't sit well with a lot of people but I'm simply pointing out the truth. There is a reason why women tend to get insecure when they see their men noticing other women who may be dressed nicer or flattering their assets. Men are physically attracted to their wives for a reason, and I don't think it would do a marriage any service to change one's dress style drastically. Same thing goes for men who get with their wives and the wives gain a ton of weight; hate to break it to you but a man does find it less attractive compared to when their wife was thinner.

Wow, people are really taking this topic way too personally.
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Old 06-10-2014, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,637,631 times
Reputation: 6732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
I meant in keeping his interest. I'm sorry but a lot of husbands aren't going to be as interested in their wives if they met their wive as glamorous fashionistas and they morphed into Lorraine from MadTV. I know that doesn't sit well with a lot of people but I'm simply pointing out the truth. There is a reason why women tend to get insecure when they see their men noticing other women who may be dressed nicer or flattering their assets. Men are physically attracted to their wives for a reason, and I don't think it would do a marriage any service to change one's dress style drastically. Same thing goes for men who get with their wives and the wives gain a ton of weight; hate to break it to you but a man does find it less attractive compared to when their wife was thinner.

Wow, people are really taking this topic way too personally.
I disagree
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Old 06-10-2014, 12:25 AM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,985,638 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
i will admit at one point I turned away from modest wear and did dress "normal". I dressed in shorts, skinny jeans, spaghetti straps, make up, etc. My husband did not really have a thought except was i sure thats what i wanted but while I began to wear those things, it weighed heavy on my heart that what i was doing was shameful to myself and to my husband. So I went back to Modest. I do see a difference in reaction from my husband between immodest and modest.

Its just clothes but it is true what you wear does say a lot about you. In a good way and bad.

-----
and not all modest clothing is shapeless or frumpy. You can be modest and look fashionable. There are also different levels of modest. Maybe its just straight leg jeans, not skinny. Its whatever you feel is ok. Today I wore a knee length skirt thats blue with brown dots, brown sandals, white tank under a blue t-shirt and my hair up.
I definitely think you should dress how you like to dress. However, I in no way consider anything you mentioned in your first paragraph to be immodest. So what if spaghetti straps show off your shoulders? I have awesome shoulders so feel no need to hide them. Besides, we all have shoulders. I don't see a whole lot of excitement in them. Skinny jeans just look better in my opinion, and I feel like I walk taller in them. Love shorts. It's hot so I'm bearing as much leg as I'm comfortable with (not super short but short hence the name shorts). I'm kind of a girly girl so makeup is just a given.

I agree how a person dresses says something about them. When you see a woman wearing these things listed above (say shorts are short but not butt-cheek short), what do you generally believe is being said about her? I'm just curious because these are all things I'd wear. I just want to see if you've got me pegged.
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Old 06-10-2014, 12:40 AM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,985,638 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
I meant in keeping his interest. I'm sorry but a lot of husbands aren't going to be as interested in their wives if they met their wive as glamorous fashionistas and they morphed into Lorraine from MadTV. I know that doesn't sit well with a lot of people but I'm simply pointing out the truth. There is a reason why women tend to get insecure when they see their men noticing other women who may be dressed nicer or flattering their assets. Men are physically attracted to their wives for a reason, and I don't think it would do a marriage any service to change one's dress style drastically. Same thing goes for men who get with their wives and the wives gain a ton of weight; hate to break it to you but a man does find it less attractive compared to when their wife was thinner.

Wow, people are really taking this topic way too personally.
Your spouse expects you to stay the same from the day you marry till the day you die? That's boring and stifling. Life is all about growth and change, and keeping someone interested in you goes way beyond how you dress. There are many differences in who I am both internally and externally from 17 years ago. All of it, with the exception of things I can't control, I MUCH prefer over the person I was when I first got married, including the way I dress. I don't even care if anyone else likes my changes because for once I really like who I am.
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Old 06-10-2014, 01:48 AM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,345,172 times
Reputation: 1578
In all honesty, this topic has nothing to do with spousal preferences or whose husband likes this and that. I did not start this thread to get into a discussion about whether or not my husband is this and that, yet people keep pointing it in that direction. There were-- and are-- people who continue to make this topic a personal matter. All I asked was about the attention women receive from NOT dressing revealing, because I thought it was interesting and strange how people denigrate how men notice women even when it's positive. Can we really, really stay on topic?
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Old 06-10-2014, 03:24 AM
 
17,159 posts, read 22,175,230 times
Reputation: 31228
if a dog is wagging its tail, most people will pet the dog, its a welcoming sign,,if a dog is staring , growling, showing its teeth, you stay away

its more how a lady acts, than what she wears. so yes, some females can dress very provocatively, for negative attention, and some can dress much more modest,,, but we are not one dimensional, all depends how the lady carries herself and how friendly she is- that determines a lot

everyone notices a pretty flower
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Old 06-10-2014, 06:33 AM
 
463 posts, read 424,542 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
There was only ONE person with "prudish" opinions here, but to each their own.

I had no idea asking a question about women NOT dressing revealing was going to cause such a controversy. I do think it's unfair to say people who do cover up are obsessed with enforcing Sharia law. Keep in mind even in Sharia law, the covered up women can still get into trouble.

But yes, I probably would have a heart attack from seeing so much skin. Mostly because where I live is ice cold a good part of the year.
fair enough!
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Old 06-10-2014, 07:31 AM
 
8,124 posts, read 5,699,713 times
Reputation: 11519
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
The problem isn't the clothing, it is that some men feel entitled to women. There is a big difference between going to the mail box and getting male attention and going to the local watering hole. Not all male attention is positive in its intent or feeling.

I dress conservatively 95% of the time, it doesn't save me from lewd comments.
In Oakland, you could wear a burka and you would still receive lewd comments.
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Old 06-10-2014, 07:42 AM
 
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
3,844 posts, read 5,105,836 times
Reputation: 7965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
I had no idea asking a question about women NOT dressing revealing was going to cause such a controversy. I do think it's unfair to say people who do cover up are obsessed with enforcing Sharia law. Keep in mind even in Sharia law, the covered up women can still get into trouble.
This is an excellent point.

And then, they are stoned. We can't win.
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