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Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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Smilinpretty, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're so new to the grieving process, but like others have said, you've been grieving for the last few years as you watched your husband slip away.
Wear your rings as long as you wish. There's no right or wrong, no timetable, it's whatever feels right to you. I'm at 2 1/2 years+ and I still wear mine. I was married for 38 years, and I can't see myself with anyone, anytime soon. I have no interest or desire to start all over again. I've gotten used to living alone, and honestly, I like it. I wish with every fiber of my being that my husband was still here, but he isn't, and I don't see myself ever feeling that comfortable with anyone else again. I wear my rings because in my heart and in my mind, I'm still married.
Take your time. Don't make any decisions or major changes for a while. You need time to get used to being a one instead of an us. We're all here to listen anytime you need someone to talk to.
Miss Manners wrote about this issue in one of her earlier books.
She received letters from widows saying that friends or relatives told them they had to remove their rings. Miss Manners said that was ridiculous and cruel. She said it's entirely proper to wear wedding rings as long as you want to feel part of the marriage.
It's only if you decide to start dating again that you definitely should take them off.
My grandfather died in his sixties and my grandmother lived another thirty years and kept her ring on. It never crossed her mind to take it off since she wasn't interested in other men.
I was wondering today, how long do I wear my wedding ring?? Since I have no intention of dating, I told myself forever. I lost my husband a week ago.
I'm so very sorry. If and when you stop wearing your rings is entirely up to you. I don't wear my ring, but it's not because I don't feel any less wedded or love him less than I did when he was alive. I just don't want to wear it. My mom still wears hers, 13 years later, and my grandmother wore her wedding ring until she died 25 years after my grandfather.
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I have two maltese cutie girls, who miss their daddy.
My cats miss my husband, too. They've stopped looking for him (it's been eight months), but they're much more clingy than they used to be when he was home and paying attention to them during the day. Pay lots of attention to them and take comfort in their cute, wriggly furriness and affection.
"What exactly is awedding ring? The wedding rings embody the continuous flow of love, a circle that symbolizes eternity where there is no beginning and no end. It is believed that love moves around endlessly in circles for better or worse. mod snip."
There are some people who view the wedding ring in this way, and so for them, continuing to wear the ring after the death of a spouse is the affirmation of their never-ending love.
My parents divorced a few years after the death of my brother. When my father married my mother, he took those vows seriously and he continued to wear his wedding ring after the divorce until the ring finger became deformed. He now keeps his wedding ring on his key chain. Mom recently died, but I think Dad will still be devoted to her and her memory.
This topic is an interesting one, as it touches upon so many values, history and emotions. To me, it is a very personal decision that one makes which requires no justification to anyone. Do what you feel comfortable doing and don't be afraid to change your mind along the way.
Last edited by Sam I Am; 07-14-2012 at 02:59 PM..
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i was wondering the same thing about my engagemnet ring my fiance passed away in may i was wondering how long do i wear it for. right now i could never even consider not wearing it. it does give me comfort but makes me sad at times. So many things to think about
i was wondering the same thing about my engagemnet ring my fiance passed away in may i was wondering how long do i wear it for. right now i could never even consider not wearing it. it does give me comfort but makes me sad at times. So many things to think about
Wear your ring as long as YOU want to wear it. Well-meaning friends (usually those who have NOT been widowed) will tell you what you SHOULD do...but those of us who have been widowed will suggest that you do what feels right. You'll know...trust me. Good luck.
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