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The OP would like her extended family to forget mass racial violence, riots and the thousands of blacks and whites who died in American history.
It aunt going to happen. You made your choice deal with it. This country has a long history of black v. White racial strife. If you didn't know that I feel bad for you!
Being as how I love my family I don't do things to disappoint them. You reap what you sow.
If your family is "disappointed" if you find love in someone of another race, then they are really not worth loving all that much. And definitely worth "disappointing". We have enough parochial collectivist retardation that spans generations and condemns people to misery and stupidity. Folks need to stop thinking in terms of groups, and stand alone as individuals. Identifying with race is so stupid. Why do folks keep doing that?
This has been bugging me all night (and pissing me off!) You know what it really comes down to?
You don't get to choose the family you are born into but you are 100% in control over who you choose to commit to. If you choose to make a life with someone, you put them first, every time no matter what.
This has been bugging me all night (and pissing me off!) You know what it really comes down to?
You don't get to choose the family you are born into but you are 100% in control over who you choose to commit to. If you choose to make a life with someone, you put them first, every time no matter what.
That's the bottom line. Damn it.
Exactly. Well she shouldn't be upset then should she? She chose him, he chose her. No family involved....ah but we see it ain't that simple! Aunties, MIL, extended family on one side all against it and its bothering her! She made her choice she can lay with it.
You must be a romantic? Love doesn't just happen it happens thru familiarity, attraction and family ties. I'm hispanic I've dated out alot, actually mostly. But I know what my family would and wouldn't accept and I want my children to know there grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts. That's equally as important as whom I marry.
Lovely family. To hell with anyone who has a problem with this. Luckily I might add, they are already there.
Kathryn Aragon...is Puerto Rican . I'm hispanic as well. I've dated girls who had racist families and when it was implied I was hispanic all racial stuff stopped.
My family is first generation latinos and we were taught that the best husbands were white, the best wives were latinas and everything else was UN acceptable. White women who marry into latino families have alot to prove. Latina women who marry white have a good leg up since they are stereotyped as loyal, honest and loving.
Kathryn is injecting herself into a black white phenomena. This problem ain't got nothing to do with hispanic interracial marriage. Nearly everyone accepts that!
Sorry to burst your bubble but this is not TV ,there are still alot of people that frown upon interracial relationships. You should of thought about the concequences before got involved.
There are still alot of people who are against black.white interracial marriage. On both the black and white side. Your correct I feel no pity for her. I wouldn't bring home an Arab if I v was Israeli...unless I wad seeking drama
Spoken like a person with no backbone. ...Let other folks' opinions and outlooks dictate the choices for your life.
Spoken like a true idiot. Dan right my mothers, brothers, nieces and nephews opinions matter. Actually they are the only opinions who matter at all especially in the beginning of a relationship.
Obviously her husband knew how racist his parents were. If your going to blame anyone blame him. Its not like he didn't.grow up hearing thus type oftalk.
Taking your daughters away from their father will do far more lasting harm than distant relatives 1,500 miles away will ever do to them. Your husband needs to find a way to cope with his family, a way that doesn't harm his children like a divorce would.
Oh, I would love to, and if there is something I can do to make it happen successfully, I will. He and I compliment each other in so many ways, we made vows to one another, and he is the father of my children. I think we both made the mistake of thinking if we just take a stand, eventually they would fall in line, but things are only escalating. I know he does not share with me exactly how much of a toll this is taking, but it is written on his face, in his body language, and in his terrible mood. He is becoming a different person: a much angrier, short-tempered one. I notice it and WORSE: the girls notice it. Eventually they will be old enough to understand what is going on, and I am afraid of how it will effect their self-esteem. If things are this tumultuous now, what toll will this have taken on our family a decade from now? Is it worth hanging in there if it means he breaks down from the nonstop drama?
I will say I can take their idiocy in stride a lot easier than he can. After all, I've been in this skin for over three decades and they aren't the first bigots I've met and they won't be the last. It's just part of being Black in the United States. However, this whole "Black Sheep" thing is new to DH. I think it's one thing to know generally that being treated poorly for a random, arbitrary reason sucks. It's a whole different story to actually experience it, especially over a long period of time. I don't think he can wrap his mind around their mentality nor, honestly, do I think he can handle it.
Your husband needs therapy to help him learn to cope with his feelings about his family. He can't change them, but he can change how he reacts to them. Your family must come first. He needs to emotionally distance himself from his parents and aunt and learn how to not be so effected by what they do. Counseling can help him learn how to do that.
There was never a truer statement spoken! Now if only I could put certain members of his family on a deserted island somewhere (WITHOUT A PHONE!), I'd be fine with the in-laws lol.
You can mentally put them on that island. It's all about your attitude, and your husband's. You don't have to answer their phone calls, you don't have to visit, you can do exactly what you want to do. Your husband can learn to distance himself from them. He really can, step by step.
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