Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We've been together for so long and have done so much, why wouldn't he be ready?
i don't know what's going on in your boyfriend's head, but i do i know plenty of guys like this.
i'd go out on a limb and say that he probably doesn't see how marriage would benefit him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
He's not sure you're the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
or: it may be that he doesn't see any benefits in engaging in a legally binding agreement.
one of the interesting assumptions i see in this thread is: "if he doesn't sign a legally binding agreement with you, then he doesn't love you." i'm not saying that's incorrect, i just think it's kind of interesting how we are all expected to equate "unmarried" with "unloved".
to me, and i think to a lot of men, "marriage" is kind of the antithesis of "love". Consider that marriage involves:
a. living up to social expectations
b. showing off with big parties
c. materialism (a diamond, for example.)
d. legally binding contractual agreements
Marriage isn't essential for kids. A stable relationship of some sort certainly helps provide a better environment for kids, but kids don't really care whether their parents signed a contract registering them with the state and/or had an expensive party.
Kids need the legal protections, and some solid sign the dad won't walk at the slightest whim.
i don't know what's going on in your boyfriend's head, but i do i know plenty of guys like this.
i'd go out on a limb and say that he probably doesn't see how marriage would benefit him.
I'd take it a step further, he probably sees that marriage CAN'T benefit him, it can only be a risk and a detriment for a man.
All of the women who are tired of seeing this situation play out should be petitioning their local, state and federal legislators to make changes to the confiscatory and putative "family" (lol) court system in this country.
a. living up to social expectations
b. showing off with big parties
c. materialism (a diamond, for example.)
d. legally binding contractual agreements
A and D only.
My wife and I have never done any "big parties," and certainly a lot of living-together couples do.
I didn't buy her a diamond ring until our 20th anniversary (which was 11 years ago)
But, yeah, announcing marriage does bring some social expectations, like fidelity and commitment.
And it does involve legally binding contractural agreements, requiring fidelity and commitment.
Not things that frighten real men who are truly in love.
It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind...why don't men get the same option?
And by the way, he has never said flat out that he doesn't wish to be married. He said he's not ready. Again with the baseless extrapolation.
Seven years that he was purportedly getting ready based on set material goals. They've reached the material goals they had set and he's still "not ready." All but one of their friends have gotten married, so it's not as though it was out of sight. He's in his thirties, "a grown-ass man."
Nothing baseless about an extrapolation of "he doesn't want to get married."
My wife and I have never done any "big parties," and certainly a lot of living-together couples do.
I didn't buy her a diamond ring until our 20th anniversary (which was 11 years ago)
But, yeah, announcing marriage does bring some social expectations, like fidelity and commitment.
And it does involve legally binding contractural agreements, requiring fidelity and commitment.
Not things that frighten real men who are truly in love.
Hear that, guys? "Man up" and marry those girls! You're not a "real man" if you can't be properly shamed into marriage.
Good lord I'm glad this is an institution that is dying.
If current trends continue, the marriage rate will hit near zero around 2050.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
