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Old Today, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,775 posts, read 49,618,904 times
Reputation: 19223

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Early in my marriage, one time I used a CC at a bar, when the CC statement came in the mail my Dw got mad at me. What she told me was whenever I go to a bar, I should stop at a bank first to get cash, and only spend cash at the bar. So she would only see the cash withdrawl on the monthly CC statements.

She specifically does not want to see 'Freds striptease bar' [or anything like that] on a CC statement.

She does not care if I go to a strip club. She does not want to see any evidence that I have gone to one.

 
Old Today, 01:23 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Who said anything about rubbing against....... Most bachelor & bachelorette parties don't have nude women or prostitutes.....or the physical contact....& we happen to be talking about a barely dressed woman....like a bikini....on a S T A G E. You keep making it more than what it is...........& he has a very active & healthy physical intimately life with me.......

So if a guy sees a topless woman in an R rated movie...that's something to get aflutter about? No...just no...real world relationships & how men act with you are about so much more than keeping a guy from one bachelor party....or from seeing a girl in a bikini or topless in a movie or on a beach........so....what?

If he was rubbing against someone.....we wouldn't be in a relationship......or if he liked & went to strip clubs.........but that is so different than going to a bachelor party for his best friend IMO.

Yes, this. I made this point several times, they aren't allowed to be naked or even topless in NJ if the place serves alcohol and many other states have similar laws, but people keep wanting to say naked because I guess it makes their point sound stronger.
 
Old Today, 01:28 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Yes, this. I made this point several times, they aren't allowed to be naked or even topless in NJ if the place serves alcohol and many other states have similar laws, but people keep wanting to say naked because I guess it makes their point sound stronger.
& if they add in "rubbing against him" & other details that aren't part of most bachelor parties too.......
 
Old Today, 01:30 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
There is a good chance a lapdance could be involved. That means her breasts in his face, her crotch grinding on his, etc.

I am not in aflutter, I am just exploring this topic. Its interesting. People have very varied views on it. There is no judgment or emotion behind my posts at all, for the record. It seems like you feel by just asking the questions, I must be clutching my pearls.

The only person who would get a lap dance is the groom. Everyone else would have to pay for it. I know my ex who went a few times with his buddies never had one. He'd not have wanted one, he'd have been too self-conscious, but he wouldn't have paid that much in any case. They used to mock the guys who continually fed the girls money and talked to them, thinking the girls liked them.
 
Old Today, 01:33 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Yes, this. I made this point several times, they aren't allowed to be naked or even topless in NJ if the place serves alcohol and many other states have similar laws, but people keep wanting to say naked because I guess it makes their point sound stronger.
Laws vary by state, but if she is not nude then she will be wearing lingerie. Its just quicker to type nude, Im typing on a phone.
 
Old Today, 01:38 PM
 
572 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 446
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
The only person who would get a lap dance is the groom. Everyone else would have to pay for it. I know my ex who went a few times with his buddies never had one. He'd not have wanted one, he'd have been too self-conscious, but he wouldn't have paid that much in any case. They used to mock the guys who continually fed the girls money and talked to them, thinking the girls liked them.
Id wager any guy there would get a lapdance even if he had to pay extra, if he wanted one.
 
Old Today, 02:10 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
1,237 posts, read 287,626 times
Reputation: 1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner View Post
Early in my marriage, one time I used a CC at a bar, when the CC statement came in the mail my Dw got mad at me. What she told me was whenever I go to a bar, I should stop at a bank first to get cash, and only spend cash at the bar. So she would only see the cash withdrawl on the monthly CC statements.

She specifically does not want to see 'Freds striptease bar' [or anything like that] on a CC statement.

She does not care if I go to a strip club. She does not want to see any evidence that I have gone to one.
What makes you want to go to the strip tease bar....in the 1st place....if you had an active fullfilling intimate life with your wife & respected her feelings? It seems kinda sad & lonely & depressing.... Some women might put up with it.....BUT I know I wouldn't be interested in a guy that spends his life or free time that way......

Most guys have other hobbies....that they share with their Gf's or friends..........
 
Old Today, 02:16 PM
 
20,880 posts, read 16,790,700 times
Reputation: 39206
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Id wager any guy there would get a lapdance even if he had to pay extra, if he wanted one.
Yes, if he wanted one. My ex didnít and I know my fiancť wouldnít either. Both would have consider it cheating (aside from that both would be too self conscious) Iíve had other exes who would have. So again it comes back to who are you are in a relationship with and whether that person shares your values. I know my fiancť would not do anything so disrespectful to me even if he wanted to.

He would in reality be so worried that I wasnít truly ok with him going that he would probably sneak out and call me every half hour to make sure Iím not mad and assure me Iím more beautiful than any of them.
 
Old Today, 02:22 PM
 
854 posts, read 205,244 times
Reputation: 619
if it works both ways. i found that idea 'changed' after i mentioned this.
 
Old Today, 02:24 PM
 
139 posts, read 27,651 times
Reputation: 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
What makes you want to go to the strip tease bar....in the 1st place....if you had an active fullfilling intimate life with your wife & respected her feelings? It seems kinda sad & lonely & depressing.... Some women might put up with it.....BUT I know I wouldn't be interested in a guy that spends his life or free time that way......

Most guys have other hobbies....that they share with their Gf's or friends..........
Could be any number of things, maybe SHE doesn't make any effort to be sexy for her man, maybe she takes for granted that he'll always be there. Maybe, she doesn't want to spice up her love life with him, maybe all of this is the case and, she knows it, but has the nerve to say what she would or wouldn't put up with (because she's insecure). Guys aint putting up with it today either.
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