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If I was well to do, I'd pursue younger women who are intelligent. That could be a two-way street.
ha ha ha , that reminded me of when i was in my late teens to early 20's on tour with the band ... if a woman was beautiful and hot looking the fact she could speak in complete sentences was just a bonus lol .......
then one day i had gone to lunch with someone i was very attracted to ..she was stunning ... we get back and my buddy goes so? i said , kenny , i am scared ... this woman is so stunning yet i found the conversation boring as heck ...if she was a cartoon character there would be birds flying around her head .... suddenly i didn't know why i was caring about this conversation thing but i think i was reaching a different level of maturity and it was scaring me ....
Last edited by mathjak107; 09-18-2019 at 02:05 AM..
Most of the guys my age look like they could be my dad and are one step away from a nursing home. I’m in my 50’s also. Not a large pool to choose from.
I'll agree with that. The good guys are still either married or far in between. The odds have reversed for most males and females from the time we were all 20 years old.
As a 60's male who still takes care of himself it's easy to have all the dates you want. The supply of good males get's even less as the years go on.
Many of my old buddies look like you describe. Much of it is due to inactivity and too much alcohol use.
My 2 main top criteria in dating when I divorced at 57 was 1. The could no longer reproduce and 2. They could not look like my grandmother.
I'll agree with that. The good guys are still either married or far in between. The odds have reversed for most males and females from the time we were all 20 years old.
As a 60's male who still takes care of himself it's easy to have all the dates you want. The supply of good males get's even less as the years go on.
Many of my old buddies look like you describe. Much of it is due to inactivity and too much alcohol use.
My 2 main top criteria in dating when I divorced at 57 was 1. The could no longer reproduce and 2. They could not look like my grandmother.
Today I would add some more criteria .
Are you a woman ? Were you always a woman ? If not can you keep a secret ? Ha ha
Most of the guys my age look like they could be my dad and are one step away from a nursing home. I’m in my 50’s also. Not a large pool to choose from.
sounds like you're basing a relationship on looks.
for me, yea, financial security is essential but I value personality more than looks.
I’m happily married and retired, but my single contemporaries who have found partners have done so by going about their lives as usual, being actively engaged in life, and finding those who share their interests. Also, stay connected to old friends...they love to be matchmakers.
Friends of mine have found love, at their high school reunion, at a bereavement group for widows and widowers, and through mutual friends. A widower in our Lions Club, who also is mayor, met a nice woman at a civic function, in the course of his duties.
As for me, I sometimes look at men in the grocery store, just for fun, and there are some nice looking ones who seem to be shopping for one. I actually used to work as a merchandising rep in grocery stores and several attractive men struck up conversations over the Chobani.
If I was well to do, I'd pursue younger women who are intelligent. That could be a two-way street.
I have always found it hard to date a man whose intelligence I didn't respect. I needed to date a man I considered as an equal. A guy I once ended a relationship with posted about me in his blog..."Don't you hate dating a woman who thinks she's smarter than you, and doesn't it p*ss you off when you realize she's right?"
I just won't put on a dumb act to boost a guy's ego. I suppose it's a turn off to some guys, but so be it. I wouldn't want to be with a guy whose ego is that fragile.
Most of the guys my age look like they could be my dad and are one step away from a nursing home. I’m in my 50’s also. Not a large pool to choose from.
No kiddin'. In my 50s, I always ended up with younger guys. Not by choice, that's just who I met--mutual attraction.
For single older men - still working or retired - where do you go to meet single age appropriate women? I'm 60 and I don't think I would have anything in common with a person less than 50. And that is pushing it. I am thinking the 55-65 age range. The dating sites are no good in my opinion. The women there seem to have lots of men write them and it is difficult to find any kind of connection. Do you take classes, go to church, what? I always read these stories about single older women wanting companionship but I don't see it. Or I am looking in the wrong place.
OP asks about the first step - where to find a potential date. In response, he's getting comments not to take rejections personally. Women in the 55-65 range simply may not be interested in a longterm commitment. There are also thread comments about characteristics important for that date like shared interests, appearance. If the goal is a long-term relationship there are other considerations relevant to later-in-age dating.
For example, take caregiving. End-of-life issues have a major economic impact if the relationship is formalized in a marriage. But they also come with a moral impact if a long-term lover is to be abandoned when an illness hits. Mature women (and no doubt men) are more realistic and less likely to assume that bad stuff simply can't happen to them.
If the goal is to simply date, have fun and move on when it stops being fun then that's one thing. If it is companionship, then that could mean a connection other than a committed relationship. No sex, but then no implied commitments or obligations that someone after careful thought realizes they are not prepared or willing to meet. Deep friendships (that are well possible with the opposite sex) can provide companionship. Maturity comes with wrinkles but it can also come with wisdom.
Thinking these issues through may impact how you engage woman encountered in daily life - and impact their responses. Younger women may know they do or do not want kids. Women over 60 may well have that caregiving issue in mind. Potential partners get weeded out. Men in their 40s, 50s struggle with not wanting younger stepchildren. For older women, I wouldn't discount the grandchildren issue. (Of course, these <<< apply to both sexes.)
My Dad remarried in his 60s. My truly wonderful stepmother (no sarcasm) made it clear her children (and all those grandchildren) remained her first priority. Some men can't live with that. One friend could not. He wanted a "wife" (and all that implied to him); his hoped for love wanted to babysit and live close to grandchildren. Hard enough for original nuclear families to work out some of these issues.
Those older women may not be rejecting you or that companionship. My take is that they might be more likely than their younger counterparts to look beyond the "date" stage.
I recommend a wife from an Asian culture. Asian women still like men and don't find domestic life loathsome. They tend to age well too. My wife is fifty but could pass for late thirties. Another big plus is marriage allows you residency in Asian countries which tend to have better, cheaper healthcare systems, with better access to preventative healthcare services. Regular preventative healthcare is a major factor in maintaining good health.
I recommend a wife from an Asian culture. Asian women still like men and don't find domestic life loathsome. They tend to age well too. My wife is fifty but could pass for late thirties. Another big plus is marriage allows you residency in Asian countries which tend to have better, cheaper healthcare systems, with better access to preventative healthcare services. Regular preventative healthcare is a major factor in maintaining good health.
I've always wondered what women from those countries feel about that stereotype?
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