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There are plenty of good people, but not all good people are good for you... IN BED!!!
I sound like a fortune cookie!
Sorry, someone *had* to do it
Joking aside you are right. I've met lots of nice "good" guys in dating (mostly they wanted a serious LTR too fast for me). But I wasn't right for them (nor they for me). But I am sure there are good women out there for them and at some point, I will find a good man who is a great match for me as well. It just takes time.
I wonder if that's part of the issue too. People are so used to "instant gratification" in everything else in life but human relationships still move at a "stone-aged" pace and don't meet that expectation that modern technology seems to have instilled on some. I mean, there are people on these forums who "give up" on relationships when they whole adult experience is shorter than my longest "relationship dry spell."
I didn't work because the men who'd contacted me were only interested in sex.
And for the record, I don't have height requirements. I also don't have education requirements as long as a guy is responsible, smart and hard-working. I've also tried giving chances to men that I didn't find attractive. Either they would stalk and harass me, or I found that they actually weren't any nicer or any more interested in a serious relationship than the more attractive guys I've gone out with.
One of my friends dated a guy who not only was unattractive but was disabled with partial limbs (arms). She moved him in with her and everything. It turned out that he was a no-good con artist, emotionally manipulating my friend and several other women all at once, getting money and gifts from them. This idea that not-so-hot guys will be nicer and treat woman better is nothing more than a BS myth.
What's really wrong with the women who have problems getting or being in relationships?
If all a woman sees are bad guys, it's because she's bad herself or doing something bad.
Also, it seems like some women don't have social skills. You could join community organizations (churches, volunteer, take classes, etc) were you get to make new friends and meet people in general. Then, if you befriend men yourself (because you have interesting things to talk about and are an interesting person) you'll end up with a greater pool of candidates?
I've tried to go out with guys I weren't feeling like that. It didn't change that I just wasn't attracted to them for various reasons in most cases. The one time a guy that I wasn't feeling like that but grew on me after we starting hanging out and became friends came back with the same speech: "You are perfect, but I don't want a relationship with you." But we remained good friends. When he did marry a couple of years later, the woman he chose to marry verbally and physically abused him, was on drugs and constantly cheated on him. They divorced after only a few years of marriage and had no kids together. Funny thing about it is, after they divorced, even with all the problems she has, she was very easily able to go out and find someone else to marry her and she now has a child.
So you are saying is that people should date people they aren't interested in to increase their chances?
In my experiences men have no issues rejecting women they don't want, but women need to be less picky?
Stop using the way you claim men to justify your own issues. I honestly think your problem is psychological and cannot be resolved on this board. You might seek help and work out whatever your real issue is.
Or you can learn to enjoy the single life. Not everyone marries.
I disagree with this. There is DEFINITELY a universal standard of attraction (especially among women choosing men). Generally, tall with a very specific facial structure. There's a reason why some guys are physically attractive to all women and some guys are physically attractive to no women.
This varies more among men choosing women, but is still generally true.
Despite what is often repeated on online discussion boards, attraction is objective, not subjective.
Entire nationalities of people are filled with SHORT DUDES. Example, Mexican guys are disproportionately short, yet they get married to women and Mexican/Latina women don't have a problem with this.
Entire nationalities of people are filled with SHORT DUDES. Example, Mexican guys are disproportionately short, yet they get married to women and Mexican/Latina women don't have a problem with this.
I agree. Very few cultures value height as much as the US. That's likely a symptom of the underlying issues though.
Stop using the way you claim men to justify your own issues. I honestly think your problem is psychological and cannot be resolved on this board. You might seek help and work out whatever your real issue is.
Or you can learn to enjoy the single life. Not everyone marries.
Dude, kinda harsh! She's young, and she's sharing her experiences, like pretty much everyone here does. That's what the forum is for. If we're just going to tell everyone they need professional help, we could post a sticky, and close the forum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude;
Also, it seems like some women don't have social skills. You could join community organizations (churches, volunteer, take classes, etc) were you get to make new friends and meet people in general. Then, if you befriend men yourself (because you have interesting things to talk about and are an interesting person) you'll end up with a greater pool of candidates?
I've been to mixers where dudes just stand at the back of the room, hanging out with each other. Even when women walk past and say hi on their way to the refreshments, the guys don't react. I ask 'em what's up with that, and they say there aren't any women worth approaching. How do they know until they talk to the women? I've had some great convos with those same women.
So the moral of the story is that too often the dudes at whatever event, class, etc. are superficial types looking for babes. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Women can go to groups, clubs, mixers, & classes all they want, but still can strike out. For sure they should try, but you can't hold them responsible if nothing happens. Especially when they try, and actively approach and try to start convos. It's not that simple.
So the moral of the story is that too often the dudes at whatever event, class, etc. are superficial types looking for babes. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Women can go to groups, clubs, mixers, & classes all they want, but still can strike out. For sure they should try, but you can't hold them responsible if nothing happens. Especially when they try, and actively approach and try to start convos. It's not that simple.
It's my experience that people lose their inhibitions when drunk, and this is true of men and women, gay or straight. So any woman going out to mixers or other events who can't get booze would have to look like Godzilla's sister. Because people get a lot more attractive when drunk, so if booze can't help you I'm afraid it's hopeless!
MrsCPG and I have an acquaintance like that, a former neighbor. When she was in her mid-twenties, she was funny, vivacious, and totally hot. She also had a length of requirements as long as her arm. Never married before. Professional. Presbyterian. Over six feet. Likes football. Blah blah blahbity blah. And she would date these great guys, only to dump them after a few months because they didn't fit her rarefied set of criteria. There was always some little niggling flaw that prompted her to dump his ass, like those horrid, neurotic women on Sex In The City. Lots of women love that show, but they love it for the wrong reasons. Rather than seeing that show as a satire about four miserable and shallow neurotics, they actually think, "Oh, hey, this is how I'm supposed to live and date." In other words, Sex In The City is the sad, sad counterpart to the PUA community. Yeah, it might be fun for a while, but it's ultimately a dead and tragic end.
Our friend? Now she's in her mid-40s and calls every once in a while, begging us to fix her up with somebody, anybody. All because she thought she was way too good for anybody, so now she has no one at all.
Sex and the City was meant to be satire, because the whole scene they were in sucked, though they tried to glamorize it. I have a friend who is 50 and kind of like your friend. She had 3 children when young, but always had issues with guys and it was always the guy's fault according to her. And now she has nobody, and at that age most men are either married or not looking.
Sex and the City was meant to be satire, because the whole scene they were in sucked, though they tried to glamorize it. I have a friend who is 50 and kind of like your friend. She had 3 children when young, but always had issues with guys and it was always the guy's fault according to her. And now she has nobody, and at that age most men are either married or not looking.
Exactly. I'm amazed, however, how so many were kind of suckered in by it. My wife and I watched it. One episode at a time, it's kind of funny. But more than one episode at a time, you realize how creepy and narcissistic these women were.
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