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For some reason when I was in high school I attracted the special ed boys. No idea since I wasn't in classes with them. I think because I was nice to them (as I would be to anyone)they thought I liked them.
That's bad too. Some people misread being nice, and read more into it. it's happened to me a few times when I misread a guy's niceness for attraction.
So now, unless a guy outright asks me out, I don't count it for anything.
I had kinda cute guys give me attention twice. Once when I went to a beauty supply with my mother. The guy there told me repeatedly that I was beautiful, asked me questions about my skin-i have albinism, let me try some lotion, for free. And his buddy comments that he doesn't get treated that good when he comes in.
But even with all that, he never asked for my number, or a get together. So, must not have been too interested.
Same when I went to a restaurant. My mother was picking up food. The guy there was staring at me. When he left and came back, he came up with his friends. But no asking out there either. So, again, must not be worth much.
1st guy was probably just being nice, and 2nd guy probably thought I was interesting-looking, given my skin color-or lack of-and that may be the same for the 1st one.
For me, with the bums, and gangsters who I get, I think it's because I am shy, quiet, and don't have any friends and am always off alone.
So, I think the reason is because I am shy, and not a social butterfly, so they think i'll be easy, and desperate for attention that I would be easy to get with, sexually. After all, a girl doesn't have to be hot for a guy to just want easy sex. Because there's no other reason that I can think of. I don't dress thuggish. I am far from a ghetto girl, but these guys approach me.
Waiting until you're 50 is all well and good....unless you want kids.
That's a good point, but I wasn't really suggesting that people wait until 50. I just think people need to choose their spouses more carefully and not panic at being single at age 23.
I only ask out women I find attractive that I think are on my level.
If they're stunning and look very high maintenance I do tend to ignore them. Only way I'd ever talk to them is if they were orbiting me, or we were in a class together or something. No reason for my ego to take unnecessary hits. Lol
I agree with the OP... there are lots of good people out there. There are also lots of not so good people too and the problem is getting two goods ones to meet up.
The problem I've run into in recent years is most single men my age (what few there are) are divorced like me. And I've met some good men, but the best have been too emotionally damaged from past bad marriages or relationships to be in a healthy, new relationship. I don't blame them for their fear, it's understandable. But it takes them out of the dating pool since they want nothing to do with a real relationship.
Or the flip side, I meet men who are so damaged they blindly want to go all out into a serious relationship and hide the pain or the hole in their life left by their ex (like the guy who asked me about marriage on the first date. I really liked him, he was funny, personable, interesting, but marriage.. on a first date? Sorry, that's another form of emotional damage where one "can't" be alone. When I told him I couldn't promise I would marry him in the future, he thanked me for being honest and said I wasn't the woman for him. I agreed).
I can't blame them--when you are hurt or have been hurt, you act a certain way. But it does make my search harder. I've considered throwing in the towel myself too. But I figure there has to be some men out there like me who got out of a bad marriage, are looking for something good and real again, but without any rush, etc.
Like I said, it's hard finding and separating the ones who are good people "escaped" a bad marriage like me (mine was loveless and my ex is now out of the closet gay) from the ones whose wives left them for a very good reason (or many reasons).
That's bad too. Some people misread being nice, and read more into it. it's happened to me a few times when I misread a guy's niceness for attraction.
So now, unless a guy outright asks me out, I don't count it for anything.
I had kinda cute guys give me attention twice. Once when I went to a beauty supply with my mother. The guy there told me repeatedly that I was beautiful, asked me questions about my skin-i have albinism, let me try some lotion, for free. And his buddy comments that he doesn't get treated that good when he comes in.
But even with all that, he never asked for my number, or a get together. So, must not have been too interested.
Same when I went to a restaurant. My mother was picking up food. The guy there was staring at me. When he left and came back, he came up with his friends. But no asking out there either. So, again, must not be worth much.
1st guy was probably just being nice, and 2nd guy probably thought I was interesting-looking, given my skin color-or lack of-and that may be the same for the 1st one.
For me, with the bums, and gangsters who I get, I think it's because I am shy, quiet, and don't have any friends and am always off alone.
So, I think the reason is because I am shy, and not a social butterfly, so they think i'll be easy, and desperate for attention that I would be easy to get with, sexually. After all, a girl doesn't have to be hot for a guy to just want easy sex. Because there's no other reason that I can think of. I don't dress thuggish. I am far from a ghetto girl, but these guys approach me.
I've done that too where a guy was friendly and I thought he was interested but he was just friendly. I've had it happen more to me than me think they are interested when they weren't. I've had guys come up to me and tell me I'm beautiful but then do nothing.
I was playing a friendly game of set up with a female....
I basically named guys on my friends list, all guys with good careers, OK looks, and actually most of them are in relationships..
But I wanted to see her type or how picky she was.
She says no to all of them. I'm laughing in my head thinking OK with that mentality, u are probably going to be future c-d poster "I'm beautiful, smart, but can't find a decent man!!!!"
I was playing a friendly game of set up with a female....
I basically named guys on my friends list, all guys with good careers, OK looks, and actually most of them are in relationships..
But I wanted to see her type or how picky she was.
She says no to all of them. I'm laughing in my head thinking OK with that mentality, u are probably going to be future c-d poster "I'm beautiful, smart, but can't find a decent man!!!!"
This has been my general experience in dating. Any woman that is remotely attractive and single is likely very picky.
I highly doubt that women on this thread are being honest, as it definitely has not been true from what I've observed and experienced in real life. Most women complain that there are no guys out there, but what they really mean is that there are no 6 foot+, modelesque men with very good jobs and great personalities.
This has been my general experience in dating. Any woman that is remotely attractive and single is likely very picky.
Being "remotely attractive" doesn't even get you noticed by anyone, let alone tall, modelesque men. Those aren't what most "remotely attractive" women are looking for, anyway. I don't know why people keep thinking that.
Being "remotely attractive" doesn't even get you noticed by anyone, let alone tall, modelesque men. Those aren't what most "remotely attractive" women are looking for, anyway. I don't know why people keep thinking that.
Because we have experienced this. I believe that I made an example earlier in this thread about this exact topic, me (an average guy, OK looks, good career, no kids) being turned down by a woman who was constantly complaining to our mutual friends that she couldn't find anyone. Also, I lowered my standards (she is older than me, which is not something that I usually go for) because they made her seem like an awesome girl. But really she's just extremely picky.
I have many more examples of this that I've both experienced and observed. If you'd like me to list them all, I'd be more than happy to.
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