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........ we know that even any company or office has to have a chief and a leader,..........
My relationship is neither a company nor an office and does not require a leader.
FWIW, my partner is both a partner in business and a partner in life. We share the responsibility of decision making. Obviously you have no concept of equality or you would not try to convince us to adhere to your 15th century beliefs instead of joining us in the 21st century.
The commandments of God is not related to the third century or the 25th century; the allowed is only the marriage. Therefore, the adultery [and whatever name you give it] is forbidden by one complete Commandment. If he loves her truly, and sincerely she loves him, why don't they get married?
Congratulations to you both! I married my best friend 2 years ago, and it's undoubtedly the happiest I have ever been. We discuss without shouting, resolve differences without violence or verbal abuse....I cannot FATHOM a marriage devoid of respect of any sort. I experienced that twice before. Never again.
Thank you. You've just reinforced my belief that Islam, in so many respects, exists because of sexism and repression, with violence used in a way to enforce a false sense of superiority over others (be they women or 'infidels').
That its followers cannot face those facts (and denounce them, loudly) is its greatest tragedy.
The teachings of Moses are the same teachings of Jesus and Mohammed; but only people differ according to their rigid holding of their traditions.
Nothing like fear, torture, violence ...etc. Some people insist on it then defend their insisting while nothing like that is there; such solutions are for different people and for different situations and circumstances; so are you better than we the Muslims with our wives and families? Do you think so; go and see the different social problems in various societies. Or have the families in the West stronger family ties ?
The wife is respected and should not be abused in any way, and she has rights to be observed as the husband has his rights and the mutual respect and love is the rule. Who said about wronging the wife?
(O believers, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will;
neither trouble them, that you may take away part of [the dower] you have given them, –– except where they have been guilty of obvious adultery.
But consort with them kindly;
for if you hate them, it may be that you hate something wherein God may put much good [for you.] )
The above between brackets is the explanation of the Quran aya 4: 19
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُواْ النِّسَاء كَرْهًا وَلاَ تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُواْ بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلاَّ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا
Discussion and compromise DO work, especially if there is a longterm history of good communication already in place.
What is more important to you? Harmony?
Or 'winning'?
Healthy relationships are not filled with victors and victims. They are filled, instead, by partners who derive joy out of the other's happiness without giving up their own sense of self or dignity.
I'm sorry, I just can't explain it any other way.
Btw, my husband knows that, if he were to ever strike me, it would mean the immediate end of our relationship. On that, I will not compromise. EVER.
Elwill, you completely missed the point of my post.
There is NO ONE PERSON who is in charge of final decisions in my marriage. Not my husband, not me.
Compromise, for us, means that neither of us will always get their way. It is always a process of give and take, with some things favoring one person one time, the other person another time.
That is what true friends do.
Have written about this subject before ...
rayneinspain, I will use a simple detail to reach clarity ...OK ( that for you and every non-muslim here )
NOW we ues We will use the logic or thinking
Overall ...Q. isit have to hit the Women ? answer ( NO)
Q. Does Islam calls for beating women ? answer (NO)
Was the first of put to LAW to prevent the beating women he ( MUAMMED PEACE BE UPON HIM ) ....muhammed did not hit a woman never and he a standard-bearer of the message of Islam ...
If Women hit in Islam that means that NO Women will does not marry or will not be women muslims then
These things used by the West to stab of Islam Only
are there a difference between beating a straw and beating sharp tool ?
in islam We have the worst the woman ... rudest the Women ..Evilest the woman After exhausting all ways to fix her beaten by straw or any thing like it .... and the West Non-Muslim critic of that but does not critic of Hit western woman in the strongest way ...
I read the status of women there how she received from her husband's severest torment! The illusion that women did not hit
look any one here Islamic law prohibits violence against women in all kinds
the man Offered by to God's punishment in the Hereafter if he unjust or use of violence against women ..
HOW THE WEST THEN SPEAKING OR critic of ISLAMIC LAW
when you ask me about islam I will tell you what is islam then ...
Now I will recount to you a list of some U.S. statistics and in all Europe which offer violence against women from her husband and her boyfriend (
that Rather, with criticism rather than Quranic text
In another U.S. study found that the statistics received by the police many times more than those published by the media ..
Where the circular for the most part of the statistics even not to exposed the reality of American society unbalanced especially by women!!
In 1981 researchers pointed out that incidents of spousal violence is common among 50 to 60% of marital relations in America....
Was noted (Walker) based on its research in 1984 on the experience of the vast American women with physical violence, she stated that 41% of women reported they were victims of physical violence on the mothers, 44% of the fathers, also showed that 44% of them had witnessed incidents of abuse physical to their parents on their mothers
If we know the murder victims are female and alone to find that one third of them have been killed by a partner or husband, and were husbands responsible for killing their wife of 1984, while the killers were their male partners in 10% of cases. Statistics, the perpetrators of attacks against women in America to say that 3 out of 4 aggressors are couples.....
Another statistic shows that husbands divorced or separated from their wives have committed 69% of the attacks ...
Women proved to be beaten by a partner is the source and the most common, which leads to injuries of women, and this is more common than incidents cars
In research carried out on the last 6 million households at America found that 50% of men who assault on their wives constantly and constantly on their children also
In Spain, also there is at least one communication every day in Spain refers to the killing of a woman or more ugliest roads by the man who lives with him....
Also success of the men to pay women to have sex with him without marriage contract...It's called freedom when is humiliating and an affront to her essence ..
Did anyone hear the shelters that are spread today in Europe and America, for the reception of women who escape from beatings by husbands or friends? Did not listen to seminars and numerous articles carried by the West and sit today, to search for a cure to the problem of the beating of women?
You said that your husband if beat you -you will terminate your relationship with him right ? even women muslim if her husband was done the thing same she can done what do you done ( without doubt if was The way the statistics that I mentioned them )
read about women in Christianity and Judaism Both Christianity and Judaism has developed a lot of texts to fit with that...Which promotes woman-battering ...and they consider Women the origin of sin and has No right to ask for a divorce of her husband
We are in Islam, if the husband best husband and women are not comfortable with him she can request to a divorce of him
All of this through text and not through the media and Canceled all of this because it is not commensurate with the women
Why you/we criticize the Word of God that be absolute Mercy of us ?
This is precisely why you cannot translate the Koran. There are words in Arabic that do not translate into English. What you are quoting is not the Koran it is an English approximation which is inaccurate and incorrect. Do not base your opinion on someone's faith as a result of reading inaccurate and incorrect passages, please.
The commandments of God is not related to the third century or the 25th century; the allowed is only the marriage. Therefore, the adultery [and whatever name you give it] is forbidden by one complete Commandment. If he loves her truly, and sincerely she loves him, why don't they get married?
Yes adultery is forbidden, but it seems that you Muslims have a loop hole called "Nikah al-Mut‘ah" (temporary marriage) Tell us about that little gem.
This is precisely why you cannot translate the Koran. There are words in Arabic that do not translate into English. What you are quoting is not the Koran it is an English approximation which is inaccurate and incorrect. Do not base your opinion on someone's faith as a result of reading inaccurate and incorrect passages, please.
20yrsinBranson
Same problem exists with the bible as well. The King James, in particular, is a complete mess for this very reason. Hebrew -> Greek -> Latin -> English. It is asking for mistranslation.
Actually, I have found that it is quite easy when you are with the right person. The reason marrige sucked the first time for me was because my first wife and I were not right for each other. Chock it up to young and dumb.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elwill
i can see that may be we will differ in WHICH person should have that final say , i have no problem with that . you can tell me who and the reasons you have , and i will tell you " Who " and my reasons either
elwill...as to having the "final say," I will agree to the extent that a final decision must be made. In my marriage, my wife and I come to a mutual final agreement. We do not argue about it because we have no need to. We can discuss issues when they arise (not that there are many because we agree on most everything) and come to a solution quite easily as we respect and value each other's thoughts, opinions and feelings. My wife and I can be completely honest with each other because there will be no reprisals for anything we say. I can honestly say (and this is no exaggeration) that in the eight years we've been together, we have never fought or even had a heated argument. We have discussed and have always been able to come to mutually acceptable conclusion. A big part of this is because neither of us has a need to be the "head of the household". Together, we are the head of the household.
Last edited by Fullback32; 03-18-2010 at 01:32 PM..
Yes adultery is forbidden, but it seems that you Muslims have a loop hole called "Nikah al-Mut‘ah" (temporary marriage) Tell us about that little gem.
Some people have to do their marriage in the river even in winter time; isn't it?
Anyhow, this is the misinterpretation of an aya in the Quran, which in fact means: to give the women their dower as an obligation.
The man cannot consummate the marriage unless he gives the dower due to his wife as agreed about before the marriage is accomplished.
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I married my best friend 2 years ago, and it's undoubtedly the happiest I have ever been. We discuss without shouting, resolve differences without violence or verbal abuse....I cannot FATHOM a marriage devoid of respect of any sort. I experienced that twice before. Never again.
beat your wife into west
