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Among the couples I know, it's entirely dependent upon who is the higher earner. In the case of my former college roommate, he's been a reference librarian for years. His wife is a software engineer. They just had their second child, and he's recently become the stay-at-home parent. In my case, I'm a teacher, and my partner is a corporate accountant. Doing the math on who's paycheck is better for the household, were it to come down to one paycheck or the other being the sole financial support, is not too tough. That said, I still don't see a world where I wouldn't need to work.
that is logical and what one would expect and the case with one guy at work. The other two couples I work with make roughly the same income and have agreed to having their wife stay home for awhile (one reluctantly). Ive noticed tho that most guys assume their future wife will be the SAHM. They never really even consider themselves to be the one. And good grief, look at Free Beers response.
I just don't see how there is a right or wrong answer to this...it's 100% personal preference depending on the couple. I know some women who stay home and love it, others who go to work and they love that. I don't know what my preference would be. I like coming to work everyday and making my own money, but it would be hard to leave my baby for someone else to take care of.
If I had a spouse who respected me and didn't treat me like a free loader or a slave, I'd be open to staying home when my kids were little. I have a friend whose husband doesn't even bother to put his clothes in the hamper, but leaves them all over the floor. He gives her an allowance each month like a teenager...being a SAHM shouldn't make you a slave. You're still doing an important job - raising kids! I have a lot of respect for women who stay home, I don't think it's the cake walk some of you seem to think it is. I also have respect for women who work everyday. It's really whatever works for each person. No judgment here either way!
I thought I did. But I was wrong. If a woman can stay at home full time, with or without kids, she is not a very interesting person. If she is, she will make mischief, which is probably worse.
My mother didn't make mischief. She raised us, she kept the house, she ran the property management, she handled the investments, she made 3 hot meals a day for all of us, and she saved my dad A LOT of money while making his life totally easy. On top of that, she volunteered at the school and played golf and tennis and bridge.
I would LOVE a SAHW...I would also love to be a SAHW.
The "ladies of leisure" thread got me thinking about the breadwinner husbands in the deal where they work to support the entire family and the wife stays home to raise kids and tend to the home.
I didn't grow up in an environment where this was common and grew up thinking both parents were supposed to work and when I was older and heard of the SAHM concept, I thought it was odd; to have one parent work and pay for everything. I've since opened up and better understand but I still wonder sometimes if the husband ever feels some resentment from having to shoulder the full financial burden. I know I'm the breadwinner in the family (as well as the chief financial officer) and I don't care for it. I don't like the pressure of knowing that without my paycheck, we would not have a home.
So for the men, if you earned enough to support an entire family, would you prefer your wife to stay home? What about when the kids are school-aged? Are there any men who would prefer their wives to work and help with finances?
Just curious.
Yes, if I was married I think I'd prefer a stay at home wife.
That said,
a. I can't afford that, and
b. If she wanted to work, I'm fine with it.
Funny enough I just asked my husband if he made a lot more money and we had a baby would he prefer me to stay home and he flat out said no. He feels that in this economy, its safer to have 2 incomes in case someone gets laid off (and we both have been in recent years).
Too funny. I never had a chance!
So after my hubs told me he'd prefer me to work, not only would he not want me to stay home but if I made enough money, he'd prefer to be the one to stay home with the kids!
I know a guy (couple) that did this. It was good, and it was bad. The good news is.... she home schooled the kids. That was a MAJOR perk!!!! Those girls are now early 20's adults, and that decision paid off well.
The problem is.... while he was working massive over time to pay for all this.... he left ALL THE FAMILY FINANCE RESPONSIBILITIES to the wife. OH BOY.... WHAT A MISTAKE! She ran the family finances into the ground, super major big time! By the time he figured it all out.... well....
they got a divorce, and he will be paying for these mistakes well into his retirement.
Darn shame.... really.
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