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I considered the message to be they were thinking of my mother i.e. they weren’t suggesting I pray nor were they telling me to attend church or believe in a god because they do. It was simply their way of dealing with the fact she was dying. That you or Northsouth would read into it as such (and then proceed to be offended by your own interpretation) is a result of an issue to control or dominate the narrative, from my perspective. I mean, why would I care they were praying? Would it be logical for me not to expect it, particularly among older friends of my mom - whether they knew I was an atheist or not?
I have no need/desire to cram my atheism down anyone’s throat anymore than I want religion crammed down mine. That said, there’s a huge distinction between someone mentioning it vs. the latter; a difference between being ‘offended’ (or offensive) vs. rationally discussing it as well. Not every opinion or conversation need result in a childish, angry battle; else atheism/religion is clearly not the problem.
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Originally Posted by MysticPhD
You have hit the nail on the head about the "taking offense crowd." It seems to be a particular state of mind characterized by an instant readiness to be offended. That readiness bespeaks unconscious abreactions to cumulative frustrations or irritations in their past, IMO.
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Originally Posted by phetaroi
Why am I required to feel the same way you do about the issue?
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Originally Posted by MysticPhD
Because you require believers to feel the same way you do about the issue!!! Duh!!
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Originally Posted by phetaroi
No, actually I don't.
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Originally Posted by phetaroi
I know what he's talking about. And I find it offensive.
You must live in constant angst, then.
Because, what with all the natural disasters & crime victims on the news...and everyone in their personal life with people around them experiencing all kind of hardships...we are inundated by everyone but a very few offering prayers and blessings. Constantly.
Years ago...there was a thread started about this very subject after a terrible occurrence. I contributed to that thread. Here is a post...the thread isn't very long, maybe take a look: https://www.city-data.com/forum/27373451-post61.html
Why am I required to feel the same way you do about the issue?
Who said you were required to feel the same way i.e. it’s simply a matter of accepting everyone has their own opinion; not everyone is going to be offended by (or care about) someone praying. I was merely stating my opinion as an atheist who has no anger (nor do I take offense) toward people who feel differently than me on the subject. Furthermore, I don’t assume if they discuss it, they are automatically expecting me to feel the same way - particularly if I don’t know them, as was the case with a few long-time friends of my mom who offered condolences in their own way. I don’t expect them to know (or care) I’m an atheist; I don’t care they were praying.
That said, if one were to suggest they needed to pray for me relative to my atheism, I would find it extremely amusing (as opposed to feeling offended). They can waste their time/knock themselves out, if it makes them happy. In other words, there are those who care what others think, and those who do not.
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Originally Posted by GldnRule
You must live in constant angst, then.
Because, what with all the natural disasters & crime victims on the news...and everyone in their personal life with people around them experiencing all kind of hardships...we are inundated by everyone but a very few offering prayers and blessings.
Not in the least as I recognize I’m in control of my own feelings/life. How does one believing in a god (or prayer) change any of what you describe?
Who said you were required to feel the same way i.e. it’s simply a matter of accepting everyone has their own opinion; not everyone is going to be offended by (or care about) someone praying. I was merely stating my opinion as an atheist who has no anger (nor do I take offense) toward people who feel differently than me on the subject. Furthermore, I don’t assume if they discuss it, they are automatically expecting me to feel the same way - particularly if I don’t know them, as was the case with a few long-time friends of my mom who offered condolences in their own way. I don’t expect them to know (or care) I’m an atheist; I don’t care they were praying.
That said, if one were to suggest they needed to pray for me relative to my atheism, I would find it extremely amusing (as opposed to feeling offended). They can waste their time/knock themselves out, if it makes them happy. In other words, there are those who care what others think, and those who do not.
I get highly offended when someone that knows I am not religious says it or quotes scripture or something.
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Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy
Why do you get offended by such? It sounds as though you have an issue with control i.e. it irritates you if someone believes differently. I don’t believe in a god; and when my mom passed away well over a decade ago, I had a few people say things such as ‘she is in our prayers’ or ‘I will pray for your family’, whatever. Prayer is meaningless, but I certainly never took offense to it i.e. they meant well in their own way.
Why do you get offended by such? It sounds as though you have an issue with control i.e. it irritates you if someone believes differently. I don’t believe in a god; and when my mom passed away well over a decade ago, I had a few people say things such as ‘she is in our prayers’ or ‘I will pray for your family’, whatever. Prayer is meaningless, but I certainly never took offense to it i.e. they meant well in their own way.
How is that in any way related to a control issue? It's rude, disrespectful and offensive to knowingly proselytize to someone and say you'll pray for them when it is unwanted and unnecessary. Completely unnecessary and anyone who does that is simply being a douche if they already know you're not a believer in their particular brand of religion.
Who said you were required to feel the same way i.e. it’s simply a matter of accepting everyone has their own opinion; not everyone is going to be offended by (or care about) someone praying. I was merely stating my opinion as an atheist who has no anger (nor do I take offense) toward people who feel differently than me on the subject. Furthermore, I don’t assume if they discuss it, they are automatically expecting me to feel the same way - particularly if I don’t know them, as was the case with a few long-time friends of my mom who offered condolences in their own way. I don’t expect them to know (or care) I’m an atheist; I don’t care they were praying.
That said, if one were to suggest they needed to pray for me relative to my atheism, I would find it extremely amusing (as opposed to feeling offended). They can waste their time/knock themselves out, if it makes them happy. In other words, there are those who care what others think, and those who do not.
Not in the least as I recognize I’m in control of my own feelings/life. How does one believing in a god (or prayer) change any of what you describe?
I was not referring to you CC...you have a totally reasonable and logical view of this. And I fully agree with you.
I was referring to the member that said they "find it offensive".
It must be terrible to be offended by it. Just look at Social Media...the "Praying Hands" type emojis are some of the most common. For everything from people and pets that are sick or hurt, to people applying for a job...even for things like going to court to fight a parking ticket.
I think it's a lovely sentiment. And for those that don't...it's completely innocuous.
How is that in any way related to a control issue? It's rude, disrespectful and offensive to knowingly proselytize to someone and say you'll pray for them when it is unwanted and unnecessary. Completely unnecessary and anyone who does that is simply being a douche if they already know you're not a believer in their particular brand of religion.
Agreed. I would not assume it is something like "irritation that someone believes differently". The problem is the impertinence and disrespect. As a former evangelical, I understand they are not trying to be impertinent. I certainly wasn't, in fact I would have preferred not to bother people, but felt that I was "supposed" to. It was my duty, because I knew best, lol. Also, the only way we knew to get converts was to try to frighten them into considering our proposition. We did not understand that probably most people were relatively immune to such tactics, and would simply be honked off.
How is that in any way related to a control issue? It's rude, disrespectful and offensive to knowingly proselytize to someone and say you'll pray for them when it is unwanted and unnecessary. Completely unnecessary and anyone who does that is simply being a douche if they already know you're not a believer in their particular brand of religion.
Point being, particularly relative to the thread, there are many atheists who proselytize as well i.e. it’s on both sides. Quite simply, you’re wanting to control the narrative or feel threatened if you perceive another is attempting to do so rather than rationally (and immediately) determining its lack of importance, in and of itself. Keep in mind a majority of ‘believers’/proselytizers are elderly women. Relax! :-) As far as the previous example re: prayer (someone stating my terminally ill mother was in their prayers at the time prior to her passing), I think it’s ridiculous/weak to be offended by such, if they knew I was an atheist (or not). They’re simply expressing their condolences in their own way.
I’m an atheist who doesn’t care if Joe Schmo believes in god or the tooth fairy; hence I’m not offended by it - not by a long shot; in fact, I’d find it amusing if they think my perspective is important enough they will go to great lengths to (attempt to) change it, particularly relative to any Forum or online environment.
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You have hit the nail on the head about the "taking offense crowd." It seems to be a particular state of mind characterized by an instant readiness to be offended. That readiness bespeaks unconscious abreactions to cumulative frustrations or irritations in their past, IMO.
