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The responses seem to indicate that most people do not experience betrayal over their long lives, which is something I would not have expected - so I learned something, which was the reason for my posting.
Well, there's a lot of "blame the victim" mentality out there, OP. It's like asking someone if they are poor, or have ever been fired. Usually the immediate assumption is that YOU are at fault for either one.
If someone betrayed you, YOU (or me) must have brought it on.
Yes, it's happened to me, and I am perplexed and dumbfounded that anyone can live with themselves after treating fellow human beings that way. I guess some people get a kick out of throwing someone else under the bus....
So, getting specific, I would say: 5 personal, 2 business-related
To me those are disappointments, in my mind no big deal in the whole scheme of the big picture.
I has to do with trust.
Trusting someone to be loyal and above-board, and finding out they have been plotting against you behind your back (this happened in the family with more than one family member). It was very hurtful.
My experience yesterday is that I had entered a business transaction with someone (they initiated it) and they bailed out of it mid-transaction - that is not something that is "done" - it was unprofessional. I have been doing business with this person for 15 years, and was shocked. Our relationship is over and I never would have seen it coming. Someone I really respected. So it hurt, but I've moved on.
I tend to see the best in people and maybe project the best onto them.
Well, there's a lot of "blame the victim" mentality out there, OP. It's like asking someone if they are poor, or have ever been fired. Usually the immediate assumption is that YOU are at fault for either one.
If someone betrayed you, YOU (or me) must have brought it on.
Yes, it's happened to me, and I am perplexed and dumbfounded that anyone can live with themselves after treating fellow human beings that way. I guess some people get a kick out of throwing someone else under the bus....
So, getting specific, I would say: 5 personal, 2 business-related
Personal: 2 friends, 1 ex, 1 BIL, 1 dad
I am learning more and more about people on this forum!
You have a good point. Some people have to point fingers.
This whole thing shows me how deep my idealism goes because I honestly feel that most people are good and self-reflective and honest, but just going by this thread alone, no, they are not! Some are mean, evil, name-calling, closed-off, angry blamers!
I wish I could SEE the mean people, because I am curious what they look like!
I was betrayed by my mother in 1973. I had left 300 record albums with my parents when I was moving around the country quite a bit. My mother noticed one album cover that offended her. For the record, it was an album by the band "Free". She decided that all 300 albums had to be destroyed and burned them all. At an average of $4 per record, that amounted to $1200 of destruction. I never forgave her for that.
Oh man. I want to cry reading this. I liked the band "Free"---Roger went on to be "Bad Company" right? What was on the cover?
My dad "uninvited" my long-time SO and I to a family reunion we had been invited to by my aunt, because we weren't married. To his credit, he did later on apologize and gave us a new car to make up. But it was hurtful at the time.
Oh yeah, when I was 18 and living in an apt. with a cousin, she caught me in a "compromising position" with a date, and squealed to my parents. They promptly brought me back home and stuck me in a garage garret instead of the house.
My husband's brother not only did not come to our wedding (DH's first) but also told the other brother not to come. After my husband had been to all of their weddings. No explanation, no reason we can think of.
I'm glad many people have NOT had these kind of experiences!
Here's a betrayal that just came to me from my 40 yrs of employment and many jobs...worked for a company and my first paycheck bounced....that's betrayal. I didn't stay on that job many more days...got my pay and I was gone in a short period. Back in the "old days" jobs were plentiful and I could leave one and have a new one the next day or so.
Here's a betrayal that just came to me from my 40 yrs of employment and many jobs...worked for a company and my first paycheck bounced....that's betrayal. I didn't stay on that job many more days...got my pay and I was gone in a short period. Back in the "old days" jobs were plentiful and I could leave one and have a new one the next day or so.
That sucks! Horrible.
But to me, that is not "betrayal" - betrayal, to me, is more personal - one-on-one dirty deeds.
The check bouncing negatively impacted you, but it was not directed, specifically at you - the company must have been having problems (not to excuse them, but to me, it is different).
For me, betrayal is trusting someone to have goodwill and to be on your side, and then finding out they don't give a crap or are plotting your demise behind your back.
What would other people betraying you have to do with you being a "drama queen?"
So many passive-aggressive people on this forum.
Not really. Drama queens seek attention from their constant stories of betrayal. Someone is always out to get them and it is never, ever the drama queen’s fault. They are the black hole in their own universe, sucking in everyone around them.
The semantics or connotation of the word betrayal, not the definition, is the problem with this discussion.
I’ve never experienced betrayal of any kind, major or minor, yet. Have people disappointed me? Of course. My disappointments may be betrayals in your life.
Last edited by jean_ji; 07-24-2019 at 12:03 PM..
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