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Old 06-26-2011, 05:05 PM
 
4,101 posts, read 5,911,721 times
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My question is, how would a person that doesn't know if he is a Republican or a Democrat know anything about something he hasn't experienced and really knows nothing about?
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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Problems start after marriage.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,588,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
My question is, how would a person that doesn't know if he is a Republican or a Democrat know anything about something he hasn't experienced and really knows nothing about?
I have no idea. But it is more of the same deja moo from him.

Yes, marriage can and often is a great thing. And there is nothing wrong with being single either. It is a personal choice. It is unfortunate some people are not smart enough to grasp that.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Way up high
14,072 posts, read 20,190,549 times
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My ex and I were together for almost 5 years. The longest we've both had. We referred to each other as husband and wife when introducing to others. Besides his weight gain and his lack of helping around the house, he was very good to me. I couldn't wait to see him or spend time with him. However, the weight gain and lack of sexual desire on his side was a big part of what made us finally crumble..

I'm personally not for getting married. I don't need a piece of paper stating we're together..But it works for others so good for them..
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Not far from Fairbanks, AK
16,180 posts, read 27,511,920 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
This is my conclusion, I am 34, single, no kids, never been married, probably never will, I don't even understand why people in the USA are so obsessed with this very antiquated concept.

Some of the brightest people I know around my age are not married either and truly enjoying life, I have a friend who is extremely smart and educated and she has no desire to get married or have kids.

I am far from being wealthy but just because I am not married or have kids, I have enough money to do most of the things I love like traveling.

I don't even understand why most people get married anyways, it seems like most people do it because they have been pressured to do it by someone else or because society "expects" them do it, I could care less about what people or society "expect" from me.

Anyways, I would love to know some of the "rational" reasons why people get married.
The simple fact that you have posted to express your opinion on marriage (or not), tells me that you are ambivalent or have some conflicting "feelings" about marriage

In reality, from the beginning the idea of marriage was to have a family. Both man and wife would care for their children until their adulthood, at which time the children would also have their own children.

In a way, there are a lot of good things about marriage and raising kids. For example, governments would benefit from families raising kids, because these will eventually enter the workforce and pay taxes like their parents have done before them. Then there are other things that are to the benefit or at least things that bring happiness to parents. For example, eventually we all will be old and die. At least for me, I would not mind if my kids check on me every now and then when I am much older. Who wants to die alone?
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
3,271 posts, read 5,904,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
My main issue with marriage and having kids is the fact that they are mostly irrational choices, I majored in Economics and I am sure I think like an economist but before I make any decisions, I always weigh the pros and cons.

If marriage is failing more than 50% of the time, I just do not see it as a "smart choice", it is like saying, hey, I have an investment opportunity for you, give me 100K and I will try to double your money, however, most of the time, you will lose everything!

I was in a long term relationship (6 years), a near perfect relationship, we ended the relationship amicably mostly because we had different long term goals, she is still one of my best friends and we hardly ever argued.

However, during these 6 years I was able to see all the things that suck about being together for a long time, the lack of passion and excitement, a very slow sex life after 5 years (nothing like it was in the beginning), and at some point, being together was more like a convenience.

I can only imagine how much it would suck to be in marriage where there is constant conflict, alcoholism, kids, cheating, no sex, financial difficulties, I did not experience any of that, and it still sucked
Co-sign. It's a rarity that most people get married for the right reasons. Most people get married because they love each other. Sorry, but love and happiness does not a marriage make. It's one component but it's not the end-all be all of marriage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
Sure! Divorce rates in the USA are higher than 50% right now, all it takes is, the wife wakes up one morning and she is "bored" or "unhappy", next thing you know, divorce, why? Because marriage was not exactly like in the movies or the TV lol

Oh yeah, nagging and BS are not part of ANY relationship, sure! You either live in denial or your life is soooooo great!

And, most of my dating experiences and relationships HAVE not been negative, yet, I learned a lot from my past experiences and yes, the reality out there is not as great as you want it to be, if everything was so good like you want it to be, divorce rates would not be at 50% or higher.
The same can be said for the husband. Nagging and BS are definitely not part of any relationship, but some people have the ridiculous notion that fighting is healthy; that you can't have a successful relationship without arguments/fights I do agree that most people paint marriage as so lovey-dovey but that's only when you're married to the right person. Marriage as a whole is like a yo-yo, you have ups and downs. If you have an equal number of ups and downs, or more bad times than good, then it's time to call the relationship quits.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:43 PM
 
2,461 posts, read 4,683,090 times
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I'm 35 and divorced. I hope I hold true to my desire to never marry again. I too think marriage is antiquated. A perfect excuse for someone to get lazy and stop caring about their appearance, goals, neglect someone, etc. I understand the OP's reason for posting this and I doubt it's due to conflicting inner feelings and more to the fact that people all around are constantly treating marriage as some accomplishment as if it takes a special skill, years of hardwork and college to pull off. Government and religion seem to be the only real benefactors to marriage. I don't knock people for wanting to get married, but I hate the social stigma that it's some great accomplishment. Despite my realist state of mind on marriage, I'm still a bit of a hopeless romantic. However, the logical side of my brain cannot ignore all the negatives and pitfalls that inflict couples once they take those vows.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
If you're happy living the single life, then good for you. On the other hand, when it works, marriage is a wonderful thing - but a long-term commited non-marital relationship is every bit as good, too!

I think people who want marriage want the commitment and companionship. To some extent this is an illusion, since there are no guarantees, but the symbolism does matter to many. The tax breaks, however, are real! And so are spousal health insurance and pension benefits. Not that these things are reasons to marry, but they come with the package.

Anyway, these things do not seem to matter to you, so if you're happy with life, continue on. There is not need to knock other people's choices - they have the right and ability to do so, even knowing that the odds are against them. The quest sometimes matters more than the outcome.
Tax breaks? Kids give you tax breaks, marriage brings you higher taxes.

<---- was married for 7 years and ALWAYS had to pay. As a single man making the same as he did the first 2-3 years of marriage, I get a pretty good sum of money back.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Not far from Fairbanks, AK
16,180 posts, read 27,511,920 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
I'm 35 and divorced. I hope I hold true to my desire to never marry again. I too think marriage is antiquated. A perfect excuse for someone to get lazy and stop caring about their appearance, goals, neglect someone, etc. I understand the OP's reason for posting this and I doubt it's due to conflicting inner feelings and more to the fact that people all around are constantly treating marriage as some accomplishment as if it takes a special skill, years of hardwork and college to pull off. Government and religion seem to be the only real benefactors to marriage. I don't knock people for wanting to get married, but I hate the social stigma that it's some great accomplishment. Despite my realist state of mind on marriage, I'm still a bit of a hopeless romantic. However, the logical side of my brain cannot ignore all the negatives and pitfalls that inflict couples once they take those vows.




Tax breaks? Kids give you tax breaks, marriage brings you higher taxes.

<---- was married for 7 years and ALWAYS had to pay. As a single man making the same as he did the first 2-3 years of marriage, I get a pretty good sum of money back.
You are correct. A lot of people have no idea about what you have said.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:59 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,063,554 times
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I just want to say that my paternal grandparents' 60th anniversary was this past May, and my parents' 40th is in August. My maternal grandparents were married for more than 60 years before my grandfather died of cancer. I think being surrounded by a strongly pro-marriage family helps.
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Old 06-26-2011, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,313 posts, read 49,935,746 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post

I am far from being wealthy but just because I am not married or have kids, I have enough money to do most of the things I love like traveling.


Anyways, I would love to know some of the "rational" reasons why people get married.
I can see why having kids would be a pinch on your money, but why would being married cost you money?

You don't get married for the sake of being married. You get married because you met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I think that's why marriage looks so crappy to y'all...you know too many people who got married just to get married.
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