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Old Today, 10:51 AM
 
811 posts, read 206,098 times
Reputation: 1065

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
If you’re both drunk why is the man more responsible?

Some of these unwritten rules we have treats woman like children who are
not capable of making adult decisions.
I’d tend to agree with you.

I’m still not going to cross these unwritten rules. I have experience with being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior in the workplace by someone trying to get me fired. If events had unfolded differently in that situation it could have permanently cost me my career and possibly even led to charges being filed. So, I tend to be very sensitive to how what I do and say could be misconstrued by someone with ill-intent. Feeling up a drunk girl who comes and sits on my lap and starts feeling me up definitely falls into that category, particularly because that would be extremely anomalous behavior of a woman towards me.
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Old Today, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,692 posts, read 42,330,771 times
Reputation: 84255
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post

Not that I’ve had any opportunities to intimately interact with a drunk girl ...
Relevant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post

... but I have been criticized for my conservatism in other regards, such as in my flat refusal to consider asking women out in the workplace, whether it’s her workplace, my workplace, or our workplace. It’s just not worth the ding if she decides that what I’ve done is inappropriate.
We have standards for a reason. There's no reason to let yourself be goaded into thinking that workplace romance is a good idea just so you can feel like you're playing "the numbers game."

It is odd that you've been both falsely accused and criticized for being conservative about the same issue, though.

You can cross the "drunk girl bridge" when and if you get to it.
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Old Today, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,692 posts, read 42,330,771 times
Reputation: 84255
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Also, not my theory about attraction and older women.. My theory about attraction and older people...
To-may-to, to-mah-to ... all mixed up regardless.
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Old Today, 10:57 AM
 
7,709 posts, read 3,027,184 times
Reputation: 12690
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Contradictions like this are why I err on the side of caution.

Not that Iíve had any opportunities to intimately interact with a drunk girl (or assault her, depending on your perspective), but I have been criticized for my conservatism in other regards, such as in my flat refusal to consider asking women out in the workplace, whether itís her workplace, my workplace, or our workplace. Itís just not worth the ding if she decides that what Iíve done is inappropriate.
For you then, wait until youíre in a relationship to include drinking with sex. Youíll know. I would be insulted a little if a guy questioned my ability to give consent or make an advance, or I would wonder what heís been accused of to have to turn it into this alcohol level testing. Got a breathalyzer on ya? What level is acceptable?
Iím not making fun of your questions, but the nature of your ruminating here makes it clear you would benefit MOST by getting experience. Work on that part first.
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Old Today, 10:58 AM
 
7,541 posts, read 11,654,985 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
To-may-to, to-mah-to ...
It's a great song.

Gershwin is my guy.
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Old Today, 10:58 AM
 
7,709 posts, read 3,027,184 times
Reputation: 12690
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You can cross the "drunk girl bridge" when and if you get to it.
Jinx, again!
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Old Today, 11:02 AM
 
811 posts, read 206,098 times
Reputation: 1065
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Relevant.
Iíve been around drunk girls before. Iíve been around drunk girls making out with random guys before. I have been flashed by a drunk girl when I was part of a much larger group of guys. (All incidents in college.) None of those behaviors was directed at me as an individual; thatís what I meant by ďhavenít had any opportunities.Ē

Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
It is odd that you've been both falsely accused and criticized for being conservative about the same issue, though.
Why? The criticism has come on here...big thread about it recently the Loweís girl. People questioning my adamance over not ever wanting to put a woman in the situation of having to reject me if sheís also a captive audience. Lots of people agreed with me too.

I mean, Mike Pence was ridiculed when he said that, as a matter of propriety, he refused to have a meal alone with a woman other than his wife. It stands to reason that people with a similar scorn for cautious behavior like that would be on here too.
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Old Today, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
622 posts, read 111,621 times
Reputation: 1053
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
The bolded statements are seemingly contradictory.

Looking for someone like me...like I said, I donít think thereís many women looking for someone like me, and guys like me are pretty easy to find...meaning the ones who are looking for someone like me, find someone like me (and probably a better version of me) before they meet me. Will this always be the case? I donít know. Maybe Iíve just been horrendously unlucky in my life on this front. If some people are naturally lucky (not supernaturally lucky, but statistically perform better than the average population in a given domain) it stands to reason that there are people who are naturally unlucky as well. For instance, for every person who draws face card pockets in Texas Hold ĎEm at better than the statistical average, thereís logically going to be be a corresponding person who draws 2-7 pockets at better than the statistical average as well. Maybe Iím the statistical reciprocal for a similar type of guy whoís had to shake women off of him all his life.
To be honest I'm not sure that women always know who they are looking for until they find that person. I think there's all kinds of people I could happily settle down with, because I've dated all kinds and liked most of them.
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Old Today, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
622 posts, read 111,621 times
Reputation: 1053
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
It is odd that you've been both falsely accused and criticized for being conservative about the same issue, though.
I'm guessing he is all the more conservative because he's been falsely accused?
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Old Today, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,692 posts, read 42,330,771 times
Reputation: 84255
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post

Why? The criticism has come on here...
... which is even more reason for you to brush it off, especially given your profession. YOU know the situation better than most anyone here. So don't pay attention to what you know isn't relevant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post

Lots of people agreed with me too.
I agree with you. I do not think that would be a good situation for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post

It stands to reason that people with a similar scorn for cautious behavior like that would be on here too.
People who scorn are EVERYWHERE.

People have to make up their own minds and understand that "internet attention" is not half as relevant to your actual life as the attention and opinions of people who actually know you.

I think you have a pretty good mental hold on your situation, but you DO ruminate and instead of feeling acceptance for it you insist on spending much of your free time thinking "what ifs" that will get you nowhere.
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