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I’ve been around drunk girls before. I’ve been around drunk girls making out with random guys before. I have been flashed by a drunk girl when I was part of a much larger group of guys. (All incidents in college.) None of those behaviors was directed at me as an individual; that’s what I meant by “haven’t had any opportunities.”
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Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
It is odd that you've been both falsely accused and criticized for being conservative about the same issue, though.
Why? The criticism has come on here...big thread about it recently the Lowe’s girl. People questioning my adamance over not ever wanting to put a woman in the situation of having to reject me if she’s also a captive audience. Lots of people agreed with me too.
I mean, Mike Pence was ridiculed when he said that, as a matter of propriety, he refused to have a meal alone with a woman other than his wife. It stands to reason that people with a similar scorn for cautious behavior like that would be on here too.
The bolded statements are seemingly contradictory.
Looking for someone like me...like I said, I don’t think there’s many women looking for someone like me, and guys like me are pretty easy to find...meaning the ones who are looking for someone like me, find someone like me (and probably a better version of me) before they meet me. Will this always be the case? I don’t know. Maybe I’ve just been horrendously unlucky in my life on this front. If some people are naturally lucky (not supernaturally lucky, but statistically perform better than the average population in a given domain) it stands to reason that there are people who are naturally unlucky as well. For instance, for every person who draws face card pockets in Texas Hold ‘Em at better than the statistical average, there’s logically going to be be a corresponding person who draws 2-7 pockets at better than the statistical average as well. Maybe I’m the statistical reciprocal for a similar type of guy who’s had to shake women off of him all his life.
To be honest I'm not sure that women always know who they are looking for until they find that person. I think there's all kinds of people I could happily settle down with, because I've dated all kinds and liked most of them.
... which is even more reason for you to brush it off, especially given your profession. YOU know the situation better than most anyone here. So don't pay attention to what you know isn't relevant.
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Originally Posted by At Arms Length
Lots of people agreed with me too.
I agree with you. I do not think that would be a good situation for you.
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Originally Posted by At Arms Length
It stands to reason that people with a similar scorn for cautious behavior like that would be on here too.
People who scorn are EVERYWHERE.
People have to make up their own minds and understand that "internet attention" is not half as relevant to your actual life as the attention and opinions of people who actually know you.
I think you have a pretty good mental hold on your situation, but you DO ruminate and instead of feeling acceptance for it you insist on spending much of your free time thinking "what ifs" that will get you nowhere.
For you then, wait until you’re in a relationship to include drinking with sex. You’ll know.
People keep telling me this...that “I’ll know”...
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Originally Posted by RbccL
I would be insulted a little if a guy questioned my ability to give consent or make an advance...
Well, ****.
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Originally Posted by RbccL
...or I would wonder what he’s been accused of to have to turn it into this alcohol level testing...
Well, double ****.
See, contradictions. Kinda damned if I do, damned if I don’t. But between “damned as an offensive, possibly creepy, stand-offish guy afraid of da wimminz” and “damned as a sexual assault perpetrator” I choose the former.
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Originally Posted by RbccL
I’m not making fun of your questions, but the nature of your ruminating here makes it clear you would benefit MOST by getting experience. Work on that part first.
Here’s another rumination...what if my chance at getting experience comes as a result of liquid courage on her part?
Probably a shot in the dark, but this is the kind of stuff that I (over)think about.
As a general rule. I’m assuming none of these guys with these issues are that attractive physically so you must improve your odds by going after as many woman as possible till one bites. Sitting back waiting for your soulmate to pop upis not gonna work.
It’s also for guys like me in their 40’s the age where your friends are all married with kids so the chances become less that you meet single woman through your social
circle like you do in your 30’s.
As a guy, I agree with putting yourself out there and meeting people, building your social life as best as you can. Also, nothing wrong with talking to a woman (or anyone) you are interested in as long as you know when to back off.
... which is even more reason for you to brush it off, especially given your profession. YOU know the situation better than most anyone here. So don't pay attention to what you know isn't relevant.
I agree with you. I do not think that would be a good situation for you.
People who scorn are EVERYWHERE.
People have to make up their own minds and understand that "internet attention" is not half as relevant to your actual life as the attention and opinions of people who actually know you.
I think you have a pretty good mental hold on your situation, but you DO ruminate and instead of feeling acceptance for it you insist on spending much of your free time thinking "what ifs" that will get you nowhere.
Sounds like we agree then. Good advice on the last part.
Let’s see if I can follow it now...
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